So I might be making a somewhat odd assumption here, but is your spirit animal also a house cat?
You know, you’re not necessarily a social person. You enjoy your alone time; your hobbies may include making some popcorn, getting ice cream, or ordering pizza and cozying up in your room watching Netflix on your laptop – just like a cat. Sometimes cats like to cozy up too; they typically find a dark place to hide in, like a closet, under the bed, or a box, and they just enjoy their time there, chilling.
Now, that doesn’t mean you’re not friendly or social. You’re actually nice and you let people in, but it is somewhat on your terms. You need to really be in the mood; otherwise, it almost feels like a chore to get out and see your friends – just like a cat. Sometimes cats come out of their hiding spot and are in the mood to play. But if you are the one that tries to get them out of, say, the closet, they will bury their claws down to whatever they can hold on to, making it a bit of a struggle to accomplish the mission.
But when you’re in the mood, you have no issues going out. You meet your friends, you open up, you share about life, you even let yourself be vulnerable with them, just not too vulnerable: just like a cat. When they’re in the mood, they will come out full force; they will rub on your leg, climb on your lap, may even lay on the floor, roll over, and let you rub their belly. They let you get close, just not too close.
In my case, sometimes I behave like a cat in the sense that I like to be in the same room as my husband, for example. We’re not necessarily interacting; we’re each doing our own thing, but I just like being around him. And I know I did this growing up with my siblings or my friends. I liked doing my own thing, but having them around was nice. Like they said, we’d “hang out and do nothing.”
Do you relate to any of this? If you don’t, I guess you’re not a house cat, but if you do, welcome to the club :).
The Pitfalls of Isolation
The thing about having a house-cat-like personality is that sometimes you can be a little too independent. I remember when I got my first cat. A college classmate’s cat had given birth to kitties, and he asked me if I wanted one. Being someone who’d never had a cat before, I didn’t feel excited about the idea. So, I gave the best excuse I could think of. I told him I didn’t have time, that I was too busy with school, and also had started an internship, so I wouldn’t have time to care for the cat. To that, he replied, “That’s all right. Cats are not like dogs, they’re very independent. They don’t need much attention, as long as you give them food, water, and a clean litter box, they’ll be happy.” So now that my excuse wasn’t valid anymore; he just invited me to come over (we lived 2 blocks away), see the kitties, and if I didn’t want any, that it was okay. So I went, saw the kitties, fell in love with one, and I guess I turned into a cat lady ever since.
But anyway, I digress. As I was saying, cats are very independent. And maybe you’re like that too. You’re pretty self-sufficient; you have no issues getting things done by yourself, and you may even struggle to ask for or even accept help because ‘you’ve got it’. In general, that’s not necessarily horrible, but I’ve come to realize that being too independent can easily lead you to isolate yourself, which can have negative consequences.
And maybe this is why you’re here. Things are not necessarily bad in life because, again, you’re pretty self-sufficient. But you don’t feel entirely satisfied. Maybe you’re achieving your goals, you have a good job and a decent income; maybe you’re even married or are dating someone, but life feels a little empty. It’s hard to find meaning, purpose, or a sense of fulfillment.
Seeking Fulfillment Beyond External Pursuits
Trust me, I get it. I’ve been there, and honestly, when I’m not careful, I find myself revisiting that space more than I’d like to admit. This feeling of dissatisfaction may lead you to external pursuits that won’t really solve the root cause but might lead you astray, depending on the season of life you’re in.
For example, when I was single, I thought this feeling of nothingness had to do with the fact that I was single. So, the obvious solution was to go find a boyfriend. But when I did and the thrill of a new romance had worn out, I would find myself dissatisfied in my relationship. I’d start having a wandering eye, or eventually, I’d end the relationship, or my emptiness would make me very needy and my relationship or situationship would implode.
When I found myself in a less-than-ideal job position, I would feel the urge to quit, start looking for another job, or pursue some entrepreneurial project. And just like with relationships, if I did switch jobs or start a new project when the thrill of something new wore off, I would also eventually find myself feeling dissatisfied and back at square one, with the need to start something new.
Now, to be fair and grace myself a little, this might also have to do with the fact that I have ADHD, but I do think that this is something that can honestly happen to anyone. It is not uncommon to seek external solutions to internal problems. This is why, for example, many people prefer to stay in a victim mentality and blame others for their unhappiness because attempting to fix external factors is often easier than doing the deep internal work required for true change.
So here’s what I’ve learned: the problem isn’t necessarily our life circumstances; it’s our approach to life. The trap of isolation isn’t always obvious, and its consequences aren’t always immediate. But if left unchecked, it can lead to stagnation and a profound sense of emptiness.
The thing about isolation is that its consequences are not always obvious, and even if the consequence is clear, identifying isolation as the root cause isn’t straightforward.
It’s not the same as with physical health, for example. If you are overweight, you can easily find out and conclude that the root cause is poor diet and lack of exercise. Obviously, this isn’t the case for everyone, but more often than not, it is: problem → solution. Conversely, if you want to avoid being overweight or unhealthy, you can be intentional about exercising and eating well.
But when it comes to feelings and mental health, it’s trickier. If you are struggling with feelings of emptiness or anxiety, for example, it’s difficult to identify the cause. It could be many things. And one thing we often overlook is the simple fact that we spend a lot of time indoors and alone.I’m sharing all this because if you are on the quest to learn how to ‘get a life,’ you need to first understand why it’s important. Because if you don’t understand your nature, no matter what you do, you will slowly revert to your natural tendencies. As a human, you need strong motivation to either stay on track or get back on track if you stray.
Embracing Change and Human Connection
Breaking free from this lifestyle is so important. Without regular face-to-face interactions, we risk feeling disconnected and alienated. The reality is that too much time indoors, away from natural light, can take a toll on our mental health and lead to increased stress and anxiety. I know I have definitely experienced this.
But fear not, my fellow house cats, for there is a solution, and it is as simple as embracing the great outdoors and nurturing social connections. Being a little more outdoorsy and socializing more often brings many benefits.I remember when I transitioned my first cat from being a house cat to an indoor/outdoor cat. Funnily enough, the experience was similar to one we might go through when embracing change. The first time I opened the sliding glass doors to let her out, she hunched down to the floor and shyly poked her head out, and started sniffing around. She carefully put one paw after the other and got closer and closer to the outside.
Change can sometimes be scary. What if I go out and people think I’m boring? What if I don’t connect with anyone and find no common ground with them? And that fear can easily turn into rejection. “I don’t want to go out, there’s nothing interesting out there!” But we need to get rid of that fear, embrace change, and give it a try. And not just once but multiple times. Because, just like my cat, your first or second experience might not be life-changing or meaningful enough to encourage you to keep at it. For her, her first experience going out wasn’t really the best. She was on guard all the time, and any sudden movement I would do would make her run back inside. But with repetition, she slowly started getting more and more comfortable. With time, she started chewing on grass, then exploring within the bushes, and soon enough, you would find her climbing the walls, jumping around, and honestly, living her best life.
So, to encourage you to not just give it a try but to motivate you to stay consistent with embracing a new lifestyle, let’s explore the benefits of getting a little more sunshine and a few more social interactions.
The Healing Power of Sunshine and Socialization
Sunlight, for example, plays a crucial role in the production of two important substances in the body: vitamin D and serotonin.
- When sunlight hits the skin, it triggers a process that leads to the production of vitamin D. Vitamin D plays a vital role in mood regulation, and research has shown that low levels of vitamin D are associated with an increased risk of depression and other mood disorders.
- Sunlight exposure also stimulates the production of serotonin, often referred to as the ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitter. Low levels of serotonin have been linked to depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders.
- Exposure to natural light, particularly during the daytime, helps regulate the body’s internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm and can help improve sleep quality and duration, leading to better overall well-being.
- Sunlight exposure has been associated with reduced levels of stress and anxiety. Spending time outdoors in natural settings, like a park, has been shown to have calming effects on the mind and body, promoting relaxation and stress relief.
Moving on with social connections, community involvement plays a significant role in promoting happiness and fulfillment because it provides opportunities for emotional support, reduces stress, and fosters a sense of belonging.
- Interacting with others allows you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences; it provides you with a source of emotional support for both joyful and challenging times. Close relationships with friends, family members, and community members offer a sense of security and comfort.
- Social connections have also been shown to reduce stress levels and buffer against the negative effects that stress has on your health. Engaging in meaningful conversations, laughing, and sharing activities with others can promote relaxation, release tension, and distract from stressors. Additionally, studies have shown that when you have a strong support network, they can provide reassurance and perspective during stressful situations, helping you cope more effectively.
- When you feel connected to others and are a part of a community, it fosters a sense of belonging and identity. Human beings are inherently social creatures, hard to believe as it may seem. We were created for community, and having a sense of belonging is fundamental for mental health and well-being. Being part of a supportive community can also provide validation, acceptance, and a shared sense of purpose, which contributes to feelings of fulfillment and happiness.
So, if you’re on a quest to “get a life,” remember this: happiness and fulfillment lie not in isolation but in embracing the beauty of human connection and the wonders of the world outside our cozy cocoons. It’s time to step out of our comfort zones, bask in the sunlight, and revel in the joy of shared experiences. After all, life’s too short to spend it alone curled up in our metaphorical closets.
Now, all this is not to say there is no beauty in alone time. Such moments of solitude are precious opportunities for introspection, creativity, and self-care. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, carving out time for ourselves allows us to recharge and reconnect with our innermost thoughts and desires. It’s during these quiet moments that we can listen to our intuition, pursue our passions, and simply be present with ourselves. However, as with all good things, moderation is key.
While alone time is essential for our well-being, too much isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. It’s about finding that perfect balance—nourishing our souls with solitude while also seeking out meaningful connections and experiences that enrich our lives. So let’s cherish our moments of quiet reflection, but let’s also remember to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the joys of human connection. There is harmony between solitude and socialization, between introspection and interaction.
How to have a better life
To close, here are some ideas on how you can start incorporating some sunshine and more social interactions into your day-to-day life:
To get more sunshine:
- Start your day by spending a few minutes outside. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee on your balcony or taking a 5-minute walk before work, soaking in the morning sunlight can set a positive tone for the rest of your day.
- Incorporate outdoor activities into your daily routine. Instead of hitting the gym, try going for a jog in the park or doing pilates in your backyard. Hiking or even picnicking in a nearby green space are also great ways to get some fresh air and sunshine.
- Take advantage of your lunch breaks by eating outside. This is something I like to do. Find a nearby park or outdoor seating area where you can enjoy your meal while basking in some sunlight.
- Plan weekend outings that involve outdoor activities. Whether it’s a day trip to the beach, a hike, or a bike ride on a nature trail, try spending some time in nature.
- Maximize your exposure to natural light throughout the day. Open curtains and blinds to let sunlight into your home or office. If you work indoors, take short breaks to step outside and soak up some sunshine whenever possible.
To be more social:
- Explore interests and hobbies by joining classes or groups in your community. It could be a book club, a church group, or a dance class.
- Keep an eye out for local events near your area, such as food trucks, concerts, or networking events.
- Take the initiative to host something at your home, such as a game night, barbecue, or potluck. Invite friends or coworkers over and try to strengthen existing relationships.
- Try volunteering, whether it’s serving at a local soup kitchen, participating in a beach cleanup, or serving at church. Volunteering not only allows you to give back but also connects you with other people who share similar values, helping you find more meaning in life.
Finding Balance and Cultivating Fulfillment
In conclusion, maybe you do find yourself resonating with the traits of a house cat, seeking moments of alone time and independence in this chaotic world. But, just as cats find comfort in their hiding spots, they also thrive with occasional social interactions, and similarly, we can also find balance in our lives.
The journey to fulfillment isn’t about getting rid of our natural inclinations but rather embracing them while recognizing the importance of human connection and the power of going outdoors. It’s about stepping out of our comfort zones, getting some sunlight, and cherishing the shared experiences that enrich our lives.
While being alone offers moments for introspection and self-care, too much isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. So, finding harmony between solitude and socialization becomes essential for our mental health.
As much of a house-cat as I am, I’ve found that being intentional about going out, getting some sun, meeting with friends, and engaging with people makes me feel so much better. I feel content and at peace. So, I really encourage you to also incorporate more sunshine and social interactions into your daily life. Make an effort to find that balance and cultivate a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.