Dear 2012 Vivi: it will get rocky, but it will get better.
You will have dark days, cry and build a wall to protect your heart from being hurt again. You will be used, unvalued, treated as an object, disposable. You will feel empty, but you won’t care. You are protected now. Remember the wall?
Your heart will get cold, no warmth will come in. You will lose yourself and focus on seeking pleasure. You will find it in men’s attention, parties, tight dresses, tekila shots and shallow friendships. You will find it in good grades, trips, instagram photos, your career, your title and the money you make. You won’t cry anymore, at least not as much.
But then you will experience an interruption.
The wall will crack and you won’t know where it came from. You will begin to search, you will look within, beyond the walls and peek through the crack. You will finally face reality: in there, lies you —naked, dirty, bruised, thirsty, starving, weak, defeated…
In desperation, you will tear down the walls and cry for help. You will wake up one night and cry your heart out. You will cry to your God, uncertain if He will listen… it has been a while since you last talked to Him…
But He won’t care how long it’s been. He was actually already there, on the other side of the wall, waiting for you to let Him in. He will listen to your cry, and run to your rescue. He will bring His best robe and clothe you. He will clean you and put a ring on your finger. He will become your healer and take all the bruises away. He will become living water and bread of life to you, so you will never thirst or starve again. He will become your strength so you would never feel weak and will be your victory, so you will never feel defeated. He will become your refuge and your fortress, so you will never have to build a wall again… He will bring new life to you and give you a new begining.
You will stand again, stronger than ever, you will love deeper, you will experience the best days of your life, beyond anything you could ever imagine right now. You will live dreams you didn’t even know you had.
Dear 2012 Vivi: Hang in there, your Savior is coming.
